Get Your Partner To Agree To Relationship Counseling

Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce.  But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn't be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor.  Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road.  Early counseling can even something prevent a future divorce.

Today's couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option.  Couples married years ago seemed less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn't something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they'll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to as your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way.  If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you're likely to encounter resistance to the idea.  Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.

If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they're more likely to view the idea favorably.  Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse.  Don't accuse the other person of need counseling.  Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don't say so.  Once you're in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

Don't be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you've been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades.  It's never too late to try counseling to resolve problems.  And it's never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you're admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling.  But that's not true.  But facing any obstacles now, you're making the relationship stronger in the long run.

If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn't perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn't true.  Just because you're willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you're willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.

If your partner refuses, go on your own.  While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they're more likely to give it a try.

Is It Worth It To Enter Relationship Counseling?

When it comes to counseling, the one that is most called upon is relationship counseling. Out of every twenty couples, 17 of them have underwent some form of relationship counseling. With good reason, too, since relationships tend to be counter intuitive. Counselors who specialize in relationships have helped couples to live happier and more fulfilled.

To dispel the myths surrounding relationship counseling, it is important to know that it is not about winning or losing or placing blame. The central focus of the counseling is to develop the communication skills needed to learn from your partner and balance your needs with theirs. Blame only helps to alienate and push you partner away. A lot of the problems that cause us to pull our hair out are in fact nothing that is worth getting too angry about, but it takes an outside party to realize it.

Relationship counseling also puts both into a controlled environment where they can vent and get everything out in a safe way. The counselor sets the guidelines and rules the force and enable civilized discussion. Now that is not to say that what works for one couple will work for another. Some couples need a mediator, someone who just listens on the sides. This counselor will set guidelines for communication, allowing the couple to talk things out themselves.

Other couples need someone who will guide the discussion. Attempts to work things out on their own quickly degrades into yelling matches and bare knuckle arguments. Relationship counseling here aims to guide the conversation and not let it get out of hand or uncontrollable. Over all, there is a variety of couples who will need an equally variable number of counselors. Despite this, counseling is statistically certain to improve your relationship.

One of the things that needs to be learned is to identify and address the issues that threaten relationships. Unfortunately, the emotions and stresses that plagues relationships make it especially difficult to identify those issues. That is what relationship counseling is made to do. Counseling will identify the unique problems that prevent a couple from communicating, address the problems that are there and bring the couple to a place that will allow them to thrive.

You may think that your relationship will not be helped by relationship counseling. However, what should be kept in mind is that what is good for a relationship is not something that seems logical. Counseling can only be help relationships. They enable the free flow of information and communication so that, problems existing below the surface can be discovered and addressed.

If you are one of the three out of twenty who can find happiness without entering relationship counseling, then more power to you. You have found something that enables you to communicate and discuss your problems, then you are well ahead of the curve. However, if you are one of the 17 out of twenty, then you will find that relationship counseling will improve the quality and happiness in your partnership.