Discover The 5 Stages Of A Break Up

The process that comes after a break up can be broken into five primary steps. Each of the 5 stages of a break up are vital to the recovery process. How long each phase will last vary significantly, depending on the depth of the pain that you are dealing with. Understanding that there is a specific set of stages that we follow will help make it easier for you to cope with the healing process. It can take as many as a couple of years for you to fully recover from a serious hurt, but by breaking the break up process into five stages, you can learn how to cope with the loss a little more easily.

First Stage is Acknowledgment. In this stage, all that you can really do is acknowledge that the break up is real, without really wrapping your head around what is happening. You may feel all over the place, and the breakup may be taking over every aspect of your life by making you feel completely helpless, vulnerable and overwhelmed.

It is important when you are in this stage, that you think things through, as thoroughly as you can. You should try to stay aware of your feelings, even when you are not able to address them right away. Work through your pain, by focusing on positive things, like writing, competitive sports, drawing, making music, healthy exercise, doing crafts or spending time with people you care about.

Second Stage, arguably the most important of the 5 stages of a break up, is to Let It Out. There is nothing healthy about keeping your feelings pinned up for a long term basis. Free yourself from your pain, much more quickly, by opening yourself up and letting things out rather than just pretending to cope and keeping things bottled up inside. You do not have to feel like you are losing control; simply because you are letting your feelings out. Shedding some tears and pouring your frustration out into creative endeavors like writing and painting can be really good for you, so express yourself in a safe and comfortable place during this stage.

Third Stage is all about Nurturing. This is the stage where you allow other people to help you with the healing process by offering their own brand of comfort. Take the time to spend time with the people that you most care about. Allow them to offer their perspective, and give them a chance to take care of you. However, a word of caution should be noted at this point.

Many times your loved ones, not intentionally, can hamper your recovery or set your progress back, if they are not careful. Their TLC (tender loving care), at this stage of your recovery from the break up, should be positive and encouraging, not vengeful and anger at your former lover. If this occurs you should ask them to refrain from this type of attitude. If they should choose to be negative about the situation, you will continue to heal from your pain much faster; by avoiding the negative contacts and comments.

Fourth Stage of the 5 stages of a breakup is the Reward stage or the fun stage. You have been suffering and now is the perfect opportunity to compensate yourself for it. Don’t seek revenge against your ex, but satisfy yourself by making yourself feel and look better than ever before. The reward stage is not about seeking revenge but is rather about rewarding yourself in positive and healthful ways. Let this break up be the beginning of a new and improved you rather than the demise of something worth holding on to unnecessarily.

Fifth and Final Stage is the Moving on stage. This is where you can finally begin to look at the bigger picture, accepting the situation for what it is and moving on. This is the point where you can see why the break up occurred, who was responsible for what and why, and what has been learned in the process. By this stage, of the 5 stages of a breakup, you are no longer worried about the other person or what they are doing or thinking. You can look at the entire episode as something that happened in the past and move beyond it.

How To Stop A Divorce?

There are many who want to know how to stop a divorce and there are many answers. Not all of them may apply. People get divorced for many reasons. One of the most common has to do with broken trust.

If the reason that you are in the situation where your spouse is because you have been unfaithful and there are things that you should and shouldn’t do to help. If there is something that you did, don’t tell them that you can change or try to talk them into believing it, make the change. If you seriously want to know how to stop a divorce, start with accepting responsibility.

Actions speak louder than words. If it is something that is a matter of trust that you have hurt, don’t do it again. In fact don’t do anything that will give your spouse any reason to question your faithfulness. If you want her to love you and trust you, you have to prove that you are worthy of trust again. It will take time and hopefully only if you have not burned them so much that they will never trust you. If you have broken trust, the truth is you don’t deserve to be trusted.

It is the efforts to be faithful that will assure them that you are changing. Don’t deny that you have betrayed their trust and don’t try to justify it. Don’t get mad because they don’t trust you and don’t argue about it. If you messed up, own up and take responsibility.

There may be situations where the one you love has been guilty of breaking trust and has been guilty of infidelity. Think of how you would want them to give you another chance. If you think that you would be it very well maybe they deserve one as well. Put yourself in their shoes and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Try to understand why this happened. It very well maybe it can be resolved. Many times, however, it cannot be.

Ask how to stop a divorce by going to friends who have been in your shoes and been through a divorce or from other sources where they have been trained in how to deal with these situations. If your relationship is important at all, it is well worth trying to find help before breaking up. Try to find the best relationship advice you can.

Be ready for depression to come because of what the two of you are going through. It isn’t easy to deal with this and you may need some kind of therapy to help you cope and understand what is happening. Love relationships can be great but they can also bring a great deal of stress when there is broken trust involved. If you want to know how to stop a divorce, seek as much help as possible. You don’t have to do it alone.

Is It Worth It To Enter Relationship Counseling?

When it comes to counseling, the one that is most called upon is relationship counseling. Out of every twenty couples, 17 of them have underwent some form of relationship counseling. With good reason, too, since relationships tend to be counter intuitive. Counselors who specialize in relationships have helped couples to live happier and more fulfilled.

To dispel the myths surrounding relationship counseling, it is important to know that it is not about winning or losing or placing blame. The central focus of the counseling is to develop the communication skills needed to learn from your partner and balance your needs with theirs. Blame only helps to alienate and push you partner away. A lot of the problems that cause us to pull our hair out are in fact nothing that is worth getting too angry about, but it takes an outside party to realize it.

Relationship counseling also puts both into a controlled environment where they can vent and get everything out in a safe way. The counselor sets the guidelines and rules the force and enable civilized discussion. Now that is not to say that what works for one couple will work for another. Some couples need a mediator, someone who just listens on the sides. This counselor will set guidelines for communication, allowing the couple to talk things out themselves.

Other couples need someone who will guide the discussion. Attempts to work things out on their own quickly degrades into yelling matches and bare knuckle arguments. Relationship counseling here aims to guide the conversation and not let it get out of hand or uncontrollable. Over all, there is a variety of couples who will need an equally variable number of counselors. Despite this, counseling is statistically certain to improve your relationship.

One of the things that needs to be learned is to identify and address the issues that threaten relationships. Unfortunately, the emotions and stresses that plagues relationships make it especially difficult to identify those issues. That is what relationship counseling is made to do. Counseling will identify the unique problems that prevent a couple from communicating, address the problems that are there and bring the couple to a place that will allow them to thrive.

You may think that your relationship will not be helped by relationship counseling. However, what should be kept in mind is that what is good for a relationship is not something that seems logical. Counseling can only be help relationships. They enable the free flow of information and communication so that, problems existing below the surface can be discovered and addressed.

If you are one of the three out of twenty who can find happiness without entering relationship counseling, then more power to you. You have found something that enables you to communicate and discuss your problems, then you are well ahead of the curve. However, if you are one of the 17 out of twenty, then you will find that relationship counseling will improve the quality and happiness in your partnership.

How A Heartbroken Poem Will Not Fix A Breakup

When you have suffered through a breakup, it seems that a heartbroken poem or quotes will fix things. It would not fix things. If you want to get back together, ditch the heartbroken poem and follow some hard but effective steps to mending the relationship.

These steps seem like they would worsen the breakup. However the world of relationships is not something that makes sense or follows logic. The time where you think you should call, you should not, and when you think you should be as emotive as a heartbroken poem, when you should be more stolid and steadfast.

The first step in fixing things is to accept that you need to break up. Time apart will show both of you how much you want to be together. Even more so, do not communicate, talk, call, send a heartbroken poem, nothing. This extremely hard step will serve to make coming back together even more powerful.

You should not wallow in self-pity and sorrow. That leads to the heartbroken poem and song. You should be taking action. Making changes that fix your relationship should be your goal. You need to figure out what went wrong and change that part of your life. Otherwise you are set to stay apart.

It is your task to change and become better. It may seem easier or more appropriate to send a heartbroken poem to get back with the person you love. Romantic words and describing your feelings seems like it should make things better. The intent is there, but it is likely to do more harm than good.

The reason for the failure of the heartbroken poem is that your ex-partner will likely read it the wrong way. It is full of emotion and heart and such power. Here you are, shipping this power to your ex as though it should change things will make your ex recoil. It will be taken as a form of emotional black mail, like you are going to "win." This will only make your ex defensive and recoil away.

You will also seem like you are dismissing your ex and their needs. There might be real problems between you and your ex, which need to be addressed and taken care of. What you end up doing is writing a heartbroken poem hoping that it will solve everything. All you will do is, add insult to injury.

The best thing, you can do is, to give space and address your problems yourself. Give plenty of space and try not to communicate. Should both of you address the problems that are plaguing your relationship, and you both make things such that the relationship can come back together, then and only then will things work out.

What seems like it should work, will not work. Things in a relationship do not follow logic or make sense. What should be done is to work on personal growth, instead of trying to fix your partner through talking, arguing, or sending the heartbroken poem.

Relationship Rescue Work To Save Your Relationship

If you want to keep a marriage or relationship afloat and aren’t willing to give up on it then you may need some relationship rescue. There are many books about it and lots of advice given from friends and counselors. There are marriage therapists to go to for counseling but most will end up saying the same things and will not give you sound advice to take action on.

The best things that you can do in any relationship rescue is to aim at being honest and accept each other. Doing both of these may be difficult if you aren’t willing to accept the fact that much of the blame in the difficulties of the relationship is shared. Own up to your own flaws and accept that there maybe truth to the complaints that your significant other has of you. If you want the other party in your relationship to change things you must realize there are probably things that you need to change as well. If you want them to keep an open mind about things that you wish for them to work on then you must do the same.

True love will require compromise many times. You must be able to bend your will and give up some things to make the relationship work. If there is going to be a relationship rescue taking place, both parties need to take a hard look at themselves and see what things they need to give up and work on, to be more compatible.

The largest part of any relationship rescue is to change your perspective. For many people perception is a reality, but it may be a false reality. Something may seem like the worst situation in the world but then, after a change in perspective, it may not seem all that bad at all. People have a way of blowing things out of proportion. In relationships this is especially true. Quite a bit of marriage counseling deals with this bit of relationship management. Look closely at the situations from different angles. Your spouse/partner may seem like they work too much but could it be worse? Yes, they could be hopelessly unemployed and struggling to find work or, worse yet, a bum. Also ask why certain things are being done instead of jumping to conclusions.

Talk through things and when things are settled, drop them and move on. Much of the problems that relationship face is due to the fact that there is someone in the relationship, or maybe both in the relationship, who hold onto grudges. Don’t let that happen. If there were things that happened in the past that have been dealt with, then let them go. When you do have discussions or arguments don’t bring up the past. Deal with the present. Don’t fight battles more than once.

If you are truly willing to see your relationship rescue, these ideas will help you and the one you love breath new life into your relationship.

How Can I Get My Ex Back The Right Way?

Are you asking can I get my ex back, after losing your boyfriend? Just because you lost your boyfriend, it may not be over. It does not mean that you have lost him forever. In other words, the answer to can I get my ex back is yes, yes you can. However, the thing that really matters before you start worrying about it determining whether you really stand a chance. Here are some tips for telling whether or not the answer to can I get my ex back is yes. Even if your ex has moved on, and has no apparent interest in you, you may still stand a chance.

The first thing that you need to do is to convince him that you’re still important to him. If you’re asking can I get my ex back, then you obviously don’t want to lose him forever. He also needs to see that he does not want to lose you forever as well. This is the best way to see if you stand a chance or not. It may seem difficult to show him this, but it’s not really that hard if you know what steps to take.

If your concern is can I get my ex back, then you should consider trying to be a good friend to your ex boyfriend first and foremost. Show him that you care about, and understand his feelings. Show him that you can be in his presence without starting drama. Joke about the situation and be light-hearted to show him that there are no hard feelings. Friendships are healthy and happy relationships. If you are asking can I get my ex back, then you are going to want to create a positive healthy friendship first, and see what develops or re-develops in time.

Another consideration to make when asking yourself can I get my ex back, is that communication is absolutely vital. You want to make sure that you are friendly and kind, and that you communicate well with him. Don’t let him think that he can get you back all at once, though, because a little bit of playing hard to get is a good way to go. Although you are asking yourself, can I get my ex back, that does not mean you have to play as if you are desperate.

Whatever strategies you decide to pursue when addressing the question of “can I get my ex back?,” it is really vital that you do not act or look desperate. You need to be able to show your ex that you are okay with everything that has transpired, and that you are capable of moving on if need be. After all, the important thing is to be friends now, and to wait and see what develops over time. Don’t be afraid to have a separate romantic life from your ex, showing him that you’re just fine with the breakup – As this may draw him back to you more quickly than you thought possible.

So the answer to can I get my ex back is yes, you probably can as long as you know what steps to take.

Who Can Help Me Save My Marriage?

Feel like you've exhausted every option you could think up on your own and you just want to storm into some marriage counselors' office and shout, "Help me save my marriage please!" Except for the shouting part, you're actually on the right track looking for advice from some place other than your own head.

Friends!

If you have any friends who've managed to dodge an impending divorce, ask them how they did it. Don't just think about friends your age, either. Older couples can be a goldmine of advice on working through marriage troubles.

Even if they seem to have a perfect relationship now, you might be surprised to hear what they've gone through. Of course, the problem with asking friends for advice is their experience is limited to what worked for them. What worked for them won't necessarily work for you, though.

Online forums!

The Internet is great place to find information on just about everything and marriage is no exception. The advantage of getting advice from forums is that you can ask questions anonymously and get opinions from a variety of people who'll most likely have very different view points from you. The drawback is that you won't get a truly useful response from one "help me save my marriage" post. The lack of real-time interaction means you don't get the back-and-forth dialogue you'd need to really get to the root of your problems and find a workable solution.

Marriage counseling!

It's one of the first thing well meaning friends ask when you admit your marriage is on the rocks: "Have you thought of counseling?" There's good reason for that. A professional marriage counselor has training in resolving marital conflicts and many years of experience working with different types of couples and problems.

The trouble you usually run into here is that one spouse doesn't want to go. Usually, that partner believes the marriage has already flat-lined and any attempt to revive it is a waste of time and energy. If you're partner feels that way, don't give up just yet. While you want to avoid pressuring or begging, simple logic can work wonders.

Counseling can help, of course, but it's not a cure-all. Did you know the average marriage councilors' success rate is only around 30%? That's hardly enough to make it worth shouting "Help me save my marriage!" at the counselor.

Self-help books!

If you've been looking online for tips, you've probably run into a few of those e-books that provide guidance for working through a rough patch in a marriage even when one partner is ready to call it quits. They may not seem like much, but in reality, the best of these can be surprisingly effective.

Most of these plans were developed by highly experienced marriage counselors who found a "formula" for what works, so they usually have a success rate higher than that of most marriage counselors.

Whatever you do, don't delude yourself into thinking the problems between you and your spouse will disappear of their own accord. It's not enough to sit and wonder "Who can help me save my marriage?" You need to decide where you're going to go for sound advice and act on that advice as soon as possible. The longer you put it off, the harder your problems will be to solve.

However, if you are looking for a step-by-step guide on how to save your marriage,  then, I highly recommend this e-book called The Magic Of Making Up which has helped a lot of couples around the world to save their marriage as well as helped  many of them to get back together with their ex.